Weight...too much?

Confession from a Therapist….
On a recent workshop around family patterns, one of my dear colleagues and friends asked our teacher “how come that most of the light workers (a much nicer way to call our profession…bringing light to clients) have such a hard time with money and abundance…why is there a pattern for us of struggle to find abundance”
The teacher did not bat an eye and just responded “if you want abundance financially clear your mother issues” (she meant us all)
…this got me thinking …me mother issues…well mhhh and it struck me, my struggle with weight – her struggle with weight – my grandmothers struggle with weight – my great-grandmothers struggle with weight…possible a pattern other than genetics? I made myself look in the mirror and in my minds eye see my mother behind me and hers behind her etc. and realized as much as I fight to be different – I am exactly like my mother bones and all and when I see my body and feel a certain kind of shame – I remember the same kind of shame as a child around my mother, from my mother, for my mother and it hits me. Am I loving my mother through solidarity with weight? Is part of me doing penance for the shame of my foremothers by “wearing” it on my body…
With this thought I turned around and faced my imaginary mother, grandmother and great-grandmother and the other unknown women in my ancestry and declared
My adoration for their hard lives, my pride for women who worked every day of their lives until death took them and also my willingness to see patterns I have carried forward through them that are hurtful, hard and heavy. I bowed in front of them and declared – you gave me enough and I will honor and love you all in a different way, I will accept all the gifts from you through my mother to me in an abundant way – and I will make it better as a gift for you – I will leave shame where it belonged and pick up the gifts from you – the herbalist and understanding of “brews” from my great-grandmother, the “healing touch” from my grandmother and
The never-ending need for knowledge from my mother and I will add an abundance of joy to the mix. I bowed again and just said YES to all.
When I then turned around to look again in the mirror, I saw not shame, just
Abundance of possibilities, creations ready to be birthed and stories to be shared.
I wonder as I keep the insight of only taking what is mine (and shame is not part of it) what my body will look like in a year from now and how I will learn to love my mother in a different way – not out of the need of a child to be loyal to suffering…
It feels good to feel the weight of women’s wisdom in my back and not the weight of women’s bodies. I am proud to stand in front and look friendly upon my daughter without her having to pick up THAT pattern.